Body Image and Intimacy After Childbirth

So you had a baby, it’s been a few months, and now sex is back on the table… only you’re terrified.

You are not alone.

Let’s pause and consider what you’ve been through. First and foremost, you birthed a child. That is no small feat! And no matter what people may tell you, it doesn’t matter one bit how you birthed the child. All that matters is that you had a baby growing inside of your body, and then that baby somehow came out of your body. Period. That is a big deal, and it was only just the beginning.

After that you survived the dramatic shift in your hormones. You survived the car ride home, (and if you were anything like me, that was the most painful ride of your life). You survived several days healing from an intense physical trauma. You survived that first bowel movement. You survived the weeks of bleeding and the lack of sleep. You survived.

So no, it is not unusual to feel skeptical about anything that involves your body, including sex.

For some women it can be extremely difficult to accept, let alone embrace, their new bodies. It can be easy to tell these women, “but look at this beautiful baby you brought into the world!” However, we must be careful not to be dismissive to the concerns of new moms.

Please note: Every single woman has a different body that heals at a different pace and in a different way.

Some women can get back to the gym in a matter of weeks, while others may require months to regain their strength.

Some women are back in their pre-pregnancy pants in a matter of weeks, while others may never get back into their pre-pregnancy pants.

Some women get stretch marks.

Some women get varicose veins.

Some women are ready to have sex after three months, and some can think of nothing more awful than the thought of sex until well after a year after their baby is born.

Folks, I cannot emphasize this enough, there are way too many variables to account for to make sweeping statements about what is “normal” during this time period.

That being said, I urge you to practice trusting your body and trusting yourself. You and only you will know if you’re ready for sex, or working out, or giving up those chocolates stashed away in the end table…

Until then, try to remember that it’s okay to go at your own pace, and it’s okay to do things your own way. You are so much stronger than you’re probably giving yourself credit for. You’ve already come this far.