The Learning Curve of Motherhood

I have heard from countless women that, from the moment they learn they are pregnant, they suddenly fall victim to everybody else’s relentless opinions on how they should raise their child. It is said that the best way to tackle the endless supply of “wisdom” is to take each piece of advice as a grain of salt, and to ultimately follow your own instinct. It seems pretty straight forward, right? Wrong.

Nothing about becoming a new mom is straight forward. And it isn’t so much that women aren’t warned, but rather that no amount of cautioning can prepare us for the sudden and dramatic shifts our lives undergo after we become new moms. With parenthood comes a huge learning curve and, as the age-old joke points out, there is no handbook on parenting.

The new skills you must acquire start the moment your baby is born.

How do you breastfeed?

How do you change a diaper?

How do you swaddle a baby?

How do you strap a baby into a car seat?

And that’s just day one! In the months that follow, the decision-making starts to build momentum.

Are you going to co-sleep?

Are you going to breastfeed or use formula?

How do you want to treat your baby’s cradle cap?

Do you want to sign your baby up for swimming lessons?

As the questions continue to pour in, the unsolicited advice of seemingly every single person we run into (including our most well-intentioned loved ones) can take a toll on even the most qualified mother! No matter what you do, it’s going to be “wrong” to someone. Especially for you people-pleasers out there, this can be extremely difficult.

I hope that what I’m about to say can provide you with some relief:

There are no right answers.

If we don’t know all of the answers right away, if we make a few mistakes here and there, it doesn’t matter. The love we have for our babies is enough. Underneath it all, what most new moms really want is for the people in their lives to trust them to figure it out in their own time. This is especially important during a time when we sometimes struggle to trust ourselves. While we may not have the power to force others to trust us, one thing we can do is look to one another for support. No matter what your situation is, you do not have to be a new mother alone!

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed.

It’s normal to not have all the answers.

It’s normal to not be perfect.

It’s normal to cry.

It’s normal to need support.